Wanting to stay but ready to leave

So here I am, sitting in my room at the River View Lodge in Observatory, Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa. I have been here in South Africa for three weeks. Two here in Obz and one in Gugulethu. I have met numerous wonderful people from here in South Africa, and made fifteen close friends from the States here on my trip. I have learned about South African history, politics, music, food, culture, and more. I have also learned so much about myself. I have learned that I don't always pay attention to the world around me. I have learned that I am privileged, powerful, strong, and so much more. I have so many resources and opportunities that the rest of the world may not have. It is up to me to recognize them and take advantage.

I sit here typing this having finished packing my things, as people around me continue to finish packing, knowing that I am ready to be home. I miss my family, I miss my church, I miss my friends, heck i miss Minnesota. Yet I love it here in South Africa so much as well. I truly never thought I would. Africa was never on my list of things to see, places to visit. I always thought that I would sooner study abroad in Europe somewhere. Here I am though, in South Africa and in love. I wish I could live here in many ways. In others though, I would never be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to live here and know that there are so many stereotypes that remain. So much racism is still present in many people's hearts, brought on by the fear that Apartheid created. If I were to live here I wouldn't know where to live. I would want to live with the people of Gugs that I met, but I would never truly be safe there. I could also live in Obz or another suburb, but then I would feel strange living in a house when so many nearby live in shacks. No matter whether I live in the US or Cape Town, my heart will always go out to the people here who are not able to live up to their full potential, no matter the reason why. In my heart though I know that I belong in Minnesota. I will always love Cape Town and will hopefully return someday, but for now I must find a way to say good bye.